Through the fire (Excerpt)

My career came to a defining moment when the administrators gave me low marks on several reviews throughout the year despite the fact that they rarely even did them. They just made some shit up to mark me low on the evaluations so I’d have to complete a personal improvement plan. All of this reminded me of what God says about trials and tribulations. However, I thought and knew these people created a scheme to move me out of my position. At my last meeting with the Admin team, the principal informed me that he was not recommending my contract to be renewed. This came as a final blow because I loved my job and my students. I assume this was yet another humiliation ritual these people do, but as someone with tenure, they could just not outright fire me. They would have to go through the proper process.

They were firing someone whom everyone in the county copied. Someone who was the blueprint- that raised the test scores of the undesirables by thirty percent. The ones no one wanted to teach did indeed learn under my pedagogy.  But I wasn’t willing to waste any more of my time on their clown behavior. I resigned and never looked back.  Some would say I jumped out of the pot and into the fire because I went from a toxic work environment to a much more toxic system of unemployment and scarcity of jobs since it was 2020 by this time. Emotionally, to be completely transparent, the hardest part to understand was the lack of support from friends and family. But wait, I had and have no friends. This is a story for another day, but all I can say is that I don’t conform and people like me tend to create our own everything that can’t be duplicated.  

The veil

     Scripture explains that God’s veils are not to keep us I darkness but to protect people until they are sufficiently sanctified to pass through the veils and receive more light. Thinking of this quote, I’ve always wondered if people see me as I am, or do they see an altered version of me based on their own assumptions. In time, I would learn that most people don’t take the time to get to know someone and would rather absorb falsities. Middle school was a time in which I met real friends, and when adversity challenged me to be strong and courageous. I developed character and critical thinking skills while participating in social constructs. In basketball practice, which I hated yet was forced to play, I found what I was good at- running. You might ask yourself why I played when I didn’t like the game. Well, it’s because she got a discount on tuition regardless of whether I even liked playing or was good at it. I was terrible at it. I wanted to play tennis but wasn’t allowed to, and no one ever encouraged me to join the track team. I was perpetually on the backburner, and between the ages of then and thirteen, I learned that my life was dictated by what other people had going on in their lives. This meant my life and the things I wanted to do were stamped maybe or it depends, so naturally I developed a modicum of patience and silence.

     But God put a few mentors on my path who understood me better than I knew myself at the time. They provided a different way of looking at my life and encouraged me to have my own mind and to never compromise my morals. My home was not a religious home, but I am a believer and attended catholic schools where I learned a lot about God and his teachings. What intrigued me the most was indirectly gaining knowledge about the spirit world, and how to navigate it. I am still quite amazed at the things God has shown me, and even more amazed at others who are experts on this matter. My grade school, St. Cecilia is famous for the athletes and celebrities that would visit Detroit to play in our infamous gymnasium, and because of the short time I played basketball, I was able to experience other schools in the Diocese.

     One school in particular, Gesu is where I met Aaliyah Haughton. Well, maybe “met” is the wrong word for this story, so let’s go with “saw” her. I was in eighth grade at the time, and she was in the seventh. It was a normal Saturday of extracurricular activities when one of the most profound moments of my faith-based life happened. I was visiting Gesu and had just finished up a meeting. We were on the second floor of the building, standing around talking when a girl came running up the stairs looking frantic. She could barely catch her breath when she loudly whispered, “Aaliayh’s here”. I was clueless because I’m looking around at the other girls, like who?  The girl calms down enough to share that Aaliyah is a singer and is going to be famous. I thought that was cool and the rest of us continued our conversation. I wasn’t privy to the happenings of the music industry then, and since I was not enrolled at Gesu, I didn’t know who she was even though we lived only two miles away from each other. I then stepped over to my usual spot at the window to look out and see if my mother had arrived to pick me up. She indeed was waiting just outside the front door. So, I said my goodbyes and made my way to the staircase.

     As I approached the landing, she emerged from around the column of the curved staircase and what I saw was out of this world. My steps stuttered a little due to the sight of her, because what I saw I could not immediately understand. As we walked towards each other, I saw a very bright white light surrounding her. The moment we were near each other was when I observed what was creating the aura or light surrounding her. I saw two faces, one on either side of her head as if they were sitting on her shoulders. They, the crayon-colored white faces were positioned as if they were whispering something to her. Aaliyah’s eyes were cloaked by dark shades as time seemed to slow down and even stop. As she reached the top landing, I had descended a few steps and continued to be awestruck. But when I turned around to get another look at her, the glow was gone, no more white light, just her turning down the hallway to continue going wherever she was going. I continued down the second set of stairs and thought to myself that people would think I was crazy if I told them this story. My thirteen year old brain tried to process it, but only God could unveil such a thing.