Ms. Black & Gold

A Different World was one of my favorite shows growing up and I could not wait to have the college experience because of this show and the positive impact it made on all of us. So, when the time came, I had several options like The University of Michigan, but it was too large and didn’t really fit my personality, and besides this school was too elitest for me anyway. There was also Morgan State University, but it was only on my interest list because of my friends.  My first acceptance was Michigan State University, but a lot of familiar people were going there. Arizona State was a favorite, yet too far. Wayne State was too close, while Eastern Michigan University was just far enough and was originally a Normal School, which is a school for teacher education. This was the perfect fit.

My freshman year was eventful, and a learning lesson. My roommate was someone whom I knew through my mom’s friends, but our suitemates were from Ohio. Now, this situation was apparently something that is common. Later in life I thought about why so many Ohio residents choose Michigan for college. After a few visits to Ohio as an adult, I understood why they wanted to go to a Michigan University and assimilate into our culture. It’s so funny because when my younger cousin moved into the same freshman dorm I lived in, we went to support her move-in. The first thing I did was walk over to their suitemates, who had everything already in its perfect place and asked, “Y’all from Ohio aren’t you”? Their response was a resounding yes of course. The day brought back so many memories.

It particularly reminded me of my freshman year and the lack of black sororities and fraternities on campus. Through research, I learned that they all had been suspended for several years and didn’t return until the last year of my education program. It was an exciting time learning who was involved in the secret pledging while being summoned to the quad for probates and midnight impromptu step shows. The most profound moment of my college career was the Ms. Black & Gold Pageant. I attended with my roommate who was also GDI. If you don’t know what GDI stands for, just don’t worry about it okay. The contestant who won was someone I had a class with that year, and it broke my heart to see her up on that stage in a beautiful black and gold gown pouring her heart out to someone a few feet away that didn’t give a shit about her.

When I would see her in class, she was always bubbly and vibrant and had a good head on her shoulders as the elders would say. She was also intelligent and friendly to everyone. She simply glowed, and I observed all this from only seeing her in maybe eight to ten class sessions. So, when she walked down the runway and decided to read a poem she wrote to a boy she was in love with, I was excited. But when she started to cry, I realized it was a breakup message, and that he had broken her heart and she was not afraid to share her feelings with all of EMU’s black student body. Every girl at my table was crying at this point, except me. I was seeing redrum, and not because of the color red he was wearing. My eyes were locked on him since he and his buddies were joking and laughing. I knew then that he was boy a who didn’t know love or compassion. Which means, he and his friends were not of God.

 A while after this event, I was in the campus library and found her combing through books on the second floor and making photocopies. I was on my way out but decided to stop and speak to her. After making small talk, I noticed that she was not the same person I met a few months prior. She was different. Her light was gone, and I felt really bad for her. I wanted to hug her and tell her that everything would be okay, but I didn’t. I didn’t tell her she would meet someone else that would truly love her either. I learned that love is fleeting in most people, and protecting yourself is essential for your soul.

Whatever You Want

Most times I'm daydreaming or just in my head pondering things like current events or the latest episode of my favorite television show. On this particular day, I’m walking down the hall minding my own business when all of a sudden, he's in my space. The environment is quite chaotic most days so it's common to be in close proximity to others. However, we were the only two people at that moment. I look up and see he looks curious. I stop what I'm doing and give him my attention. There was an awkward pause, but then he finally says, “we're going to lunch so come with”. I hesitated and was about to say no, but he gently pulls me and says, “we don't have much time”. I look confused because all I have in my hand is a pile of papers. I said, "wait I don't have my purse". He responds by saying "don't worry, I got you". We end up at the closest deli and the two of them get in line while I find a table. After a few minutes he walks over and hands me his wallet and says, "you can have whatever you want". The words didn't just resonate in a paying for my food kinda way if you know what I mean. 

DREAMS OF YOU- THE LIGHT

In a different realm my heart chose you. With the help of the

angels- guiding me, my heart was full. None of the others mattered.

One by one their light extinguished with every step I took, It was your

voice that brought me to you. Your voice among so many others-A unified chorus

of soul and sound. It was fate, white, all white, You like white It seems. But I

walked slowly, taking in the cadence of all of you, walking up into a light so bright.

It shielded your face in a kitchen, the kitchen- Pristine. You, leaning back onto the counter. I walked

into a hug and put my arms between your open spaces and hugged you so tight. I was home!

I lifted my head in your direction but you didn't stop talking, And with your head turned away

I decided I loved you anyway. In reality, I didn't know who you were. I thought, is it him?

I've been wrong before and dreams are just dreams sometimes. Or was it a vision? Only time would tell.

March 21, 2020 would be the day I formally met the man of my dreams. It was you. I just didn't know it.