Maya Angelou said love is a liberating force. "Love liberates. It doesn't just hold—that's ego. True love allows for freedom rather than binding someone". Now, after reviewing what many different people have said and written about love, it seems most people have different views on what love is. But I align with Maya's definition the most. I once had a conversation with a man about love, and he said that it’s just a chemical reaction in your brain. I thought it was a very interesting thing to say and understood why we would never be friends. He didn't know God; therefore, he didn't know love. Maybe he believed Love was just something transactional that your brain processes, and not something that your soul manifests within you.
Over these four decades of my life, I've witnessed all types of love- the real kind, the abusive kind, the stagnant kind, the delusional kind, and even the unrequited kind. It’s all very polarizing to be honest. As someone who’s never technically been in a romantic relationship before, I must observe every interaction around me through the lens of love. It starts at home they say, and sometimes "I love you" is never spoken, but their actions show it. This is something I learned at an early age, so I began observing the people around me. It was the way my aunt looked at my uncle, the way my mother cared for her elderly mother, the way my elementary school teacher told me I was smart and encouraged me, and the interactions between my father and his wife that built my foundation of love. It’s the small things that make the biggest impact since you are able to witness their heart posture.
Heart posture is a heart that is humble, repentant, obedient, and loving, as the heart is the source of all actions and a reflection of one's relationship with God. In addition, heart posture—the inner intent, attitude, and condition of a person's soul is more critical to God than outward actions or appearance. Now that I am grown and with a better understanding of things, I understand why I didn’t talk when I was a child. I was told that all I did was point to whatever I wanted. Looking back on this, I realized I was reading people’s souls. Even today, I am still the same. Within ten minutes of me meeting someone, I’ve calculated the risk of interacting with them, and I am always correct when I say to myself, “they’re going to hurt me”. They say, “sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you”. I call bullshit! Do you not know how many people have committed suicide and/or are in therapy today due to words hurting people?
In these modern times with all its advanced technology, people are greatly encouraged to be more reckless than ever in every aspect of life and that is probably why so many are still unmarried. At my big age I am still not married, but the society we inherited today is difficult to navigate as far as dating and relationships. I prefer a short courtship, but people aren’t really taking things seriously these days. Over the last twenty years, in my silence, I’ve been able to watch people play games with people they supposedly love which ultimately ruins more lives than they know. It’s a horrible feeling to know that most people do not have good intentions. But I have faith in God and I do the work. I don’t just brush aside the dreams and visions God gives me about my future; I take every action possible. Since fear is not an issue for me, I go after what I want, and I learned this in therapy!
The kind of love I seek is out there, and it’s a love that mirrors my own. But sometimes we must wait for it, and I have no problem with that because this love will last forever- since I don’t just stop loving a thing, or person. My love doesn’t turn on and off like a faucet, and I don’t play games. Therefore, this love will be liberating. In this love, he will have a safe space- a hedge of protection, and reassurance that I am a lover, not a fighter. I am simply a nurturer through and through. I find it interesting that most people take the power away from God to find their own person, but I feel that God knows what’s best for me. I also feel that God is going to send me exactly what I need and want.
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